


morals

by jesuisdeux



Category: Star Wars (Marvel Comics), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Bitterness, Dictatorship, EMOTION!!!, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Flashbacks, Gen, Genocide, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Internal Monologue, Maybe - Freeform, Memories, Moral Dilemmas, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Break, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, Philosophy, Planet Tatooine (Star Wars), Politics, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Pre-Star Wars: A New Hope, Sadness, Thinking, War, dark themes, hmm did i say politics, i mean moral philosophy, obi-wan and qui-gon spend some quality time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28734648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisdeux/pseuds/jesuisdeux
Summary: If someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you, and told you that that child would grow up to be an evil, ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives... Could you kill that child?Obi-wan couldn't.And really, by all meanings, when it came to that, Obi-wan didn’t. But... his life was that, then. Solely a moral thought experiment.orTatooine, pondering over past, and a sad Obi-wan.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Kudos: 13





	morals

**Author's Note:**

> this is dark. 
> 
> WARNİNG: genocide, holocaust  
> it contains a star wars version of "could you kill baby hitler?" question, so it contains a star wars version of holocaust. nothing graphic but it is there. obi-wan is not the hopeful sarcastic soldier here. he is bitter.
> 
> but hopeful ending, i guess

Realizing his life was as bitter as a moral thought experiment wasn't _the worst_ for Obi-wan Kenobi. It might have ranked among the top ten.

He just thought, for no discernable reason, that his life was a _joke_. Not a verry funny one perhaps. Perhaps an untold one.

But no. His life was as annoying as that old thought experiments. The questions that had no right answer, no wrong answer or any real answer at all. An unresolved riddle, then. His life it is. Very well.

_If someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you, and told you that that child would grow up to be an evil, ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives... Could you kill that child?_

Obi-wan couldn't.

And _really_ , by all meanings, when it came to that, Obi-wan didn’t.

The question was about one precise child, actually. Every Republic citizen was well aware of what had happened on the planet Lonaweia, not so long ago. What wrote on history books was that the planet had decided that the most fascist party was very qualified to run the government. Zheradil won the elections on a wicked night. Obi-wan still remembered the holovids from history lecture. It had been a horrible, horrible lesson.

_Could you kill baby Zheradil?_

_That_ specific moral question came from _that_ specific man. _That_ president of _that_ party, who decided somehow some parts of the population wasn't worthy of living. Because of very simple things. Biological things.

Obi-wan shuddered. And he thought Melida/Daan was bad.

"Why Republic didn't do anything?" he had asked, tears in his eyes, unable to understand the slightest. "There are positions where politics tie our hands, padawan mine." Qui-gon had answered sympathetically, that day, on their quarter.

All politics ever done was _this_. Tying people’s hands.

In another memory of Obi-wan, he was sitting in grass, listening to his master. He received a particular question. And frowned.

"But... Master, how can we be sure... so... precisely?"

Killing off children, solely based on "knowledge" from the future wasn't... Jedi way. It was barely a way. Not a good one, clearly.

"We are not, padawan. We do not need to be. It is just muscle activity for your brain."

Ah. Alright, then. As if Obi-wan hadn't realized that. His frown deepened, gaze lingering on fountains.

As much as Obi-wan fancied moral philosophy, he had to accept that those experiments were... painful. It wasn't algebra, there wasn't any answer nor the answer key to check anything. And being mediocre at algebra was quite alright whereas at morals, there was no being mediocre. No average test grades.

There was only being devilish.

"If we are searching for the most 'effective' choice," Obi-wan started, "ruthless or not, one poor soul will kill the child."

Qui-gon Jinn raised an eyebrow.

That was what Obi-wan expected.

A popular answer. And ruthless or not, it was indeed effective. Just one second of imagining the war, the genocide, and it wasn't that much of a radical answer at all.

"However, this is not what _I_ would do." he continued.

"Do explain."

"Another alternative suggests raising the child to be a better person." Obi-wan grimaced, just a little, thinking what kind of a punishment it would be to a person.

Raising a killer, after seeing the possibility. After seeing the future. After seeing so much horrible things, and while not being able to know if you are going to make any difference at all.

Such a foresighted thought for him.

"And?"

"Of course, this is what I would do. What I would try. What everyone in the Order would." No assurance, no certainty. Only obligation. "I would have to. In sake of goodness." Nothing more.

"But you aren't finished," said Qui-gon, with a smirk. His brilliant padawan wasn’t done yet.

"No, I am not." Obi-wan returned the smile. “Just...” he exhaled, "I doubt it will work. At all."

Qui-gon's expression hardened.

"I am not saying the first possibility was better. There is no chance in both alternatives. It will not work, well, because it is hardly about one person. It can't be just about the Zheradil, right? There were other party members. There were voters. All the partisans." Their little homicide would barely change anything. Or their little home schooling. At least, Obi-wan’s home schooling didn’t. “Question is misleading, don’t you think, master?”

"Yes, Padawan. You are right." Qui-gon nodded, hand in his beard. "If society itself isn't 'ready', can one person really change anything?"

At some point, every lecture and question were on free will and determinism.

Obi-wan, years later, sitting in his hut, only could make a sound. A sound, that no intruder could distinguish if it was a laugh or a sob. A sound, hysterical, dry, something wicked. Jedi hid his face behind his hands.

His life was that simple. An annoying children inquiry.

His life was that pointless. As much as the alternative two. Without any insurance, raise a killer. Oh, who knows, he can turn out to be good, if you try hard enough! And if he doesn't, it is your fault. It always has been.

And, after days of thinking, that doomed, irreversible decision was the best choice. Child rearing. Child rearing a child killer as the best option of Obi-wan’s life.

But the other option was unthinkable. Obi-wan couldn't kill him. If he had the chance... No. Perhaps it was an attachment. Perhaps that was what the Code approved. But Anakin Skywalker dying in the hands of Obi-wan Kenobi was impossible.

Exact opposite was quite possible, but Obi-wan wasn't going to think about it.

If he had the chance... Would he kill the chancellor?

Of course. Just because he wasn't a chancellor anymore, he was the Emperor. Of course.

Answering _this_ easily scared him a bit. But only that. His decision was final.

Except, he didn't have the chance. Except, he was never going to have the chance. Except, it wouldn't solve anything. What he, himself had told to his master when he was a child? Society was in need of a despot. They wanted peace, freedom, justice, and security. They were in need of someone, just to hand all the power.

Anakin was merely a side effect.

So, Obi-wan’s life was a story on politics. A political science and public administration mid-term exam question.

Obi-wan have always despised politicians.

But, to give them their due, it was a difficult question.

_In the direction of what kind of a prescription could Republic be saved from the totalitarian regime? You have two standard hours._

Perhaps it was an algebra problem.

But Obi-wan was an average student at algebra.

Days of thinking, and he still had no solution. Any change of the factors in the equation, he tried, he really tried, but no. He couldn't find the answer.

A three second late arrival at a council meeting, two more praises to Anakin, one hour less of a discuss with Palpatine, five more attempts at a heart-to-heart talk, not leaving for Utapau, something, _anything_ -

Empty set. Possibility of Anakin Skywalker still standing by his side with a soft smile equaled to empty set.

_I can't find the answer, master._

_No need to worry, padawan mine. Help will come to anyone who asks._

But not this time. In fact, never, from now on. All galaxy could suffer in silence.

No. No. No.

Because... because it was temporary. It had to be. One day, in a faculty building they were really going to ask what was wrong with the Empire. One day. They had to. One day, algebra was going to be used not for Imperial weapons but something different. Something… kind. One day, children were going to be taught moral philosophy, once again.

One day. For the sake of everyone in the Galaxy.

For Luke. For Leia.

And this thought lifted Obi-wan to his feet, forcing him to find some paper, and some ink, and gather his memories.

He didn't know what happened to the Archives. He hoped Palpatine was clever enough to not damage the data, even if he was not going to make them available to public anymore.

But, Obi-wan could write down what his insignificant mind contained.

For Luke and Leia.

Memories. Lessons. Information a Force sensitive would appreciate.

Even moral philosophy questions.

Because those were all Obi-wan ever was anymore. And it wasn’t too terrible.

Just like that, Old Ben Kenobi’s diary started.

**Author's Note:**

> old ben kenobi's diary is canon, u know the comics.
> 
> "You see, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives, could you then kill that child?" This part is totally from Doctor Who, Fourth Doctor, to be precise.
> 
> thank you for reading! if you found any mistakes (especially gramatical since i am not a native speaker) please show me! constructive criticism is great!


End file.
